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THEY MADE ME DO THIS!!!! ITS THE VOICES!! I SWEAR!!
My life is so fucked up.
Ok, heres ya one chance to get to know me, my past and what i did.... Read it carefully before passing judgements, it's hard to believe but so so tru...
12 was my year... At that age i lost my childhood in every way imagineable... I lost my verginty to a 21 year old ( an ugly ass white dude that i ended up makin toothless when i turned 17), I smoked my first blunt, drank my first alcoholic beverage, smelled the sweet smell of that yayo i grew to not be able to live with out... took that first hit of crack. 12 was my year...
wow... 13 was just as good, did sometime in juvie for fighting bitches i didnt even know, was so addicted to crack that i couldnt fgo 20 minutes without a hit, fell in love with "the best man ever"... He was my first tru love, and i still consider him my only TRU love, i did anything that kid asked me to do. 3 years of unconditonal love... Smokin Dust in Stapleton, fightin anyone i saw jus cause i thought that they was talkin about me... wow... 13.
Jump to 15, 8 months prego, clean from all harmful substances... Still livin in Stapleton, it was what i thought i wanted too.. I never felt my age, for some reason i always felt like i was at least 5 years older then i was. I had been living for myself since i was (yup u guessed it 12!)... I was walkin out my door, headin for the stairs, my crazy ass boyfriend yell at me sayin i was goin out to fuck sum dude (never once cheated on him...) I felt a push, i felt my leg snap, i felt the warm blood rolling down face... everything turned dark, blk... I woke up to find out that i had been ina coma for 2 days and that i had lost the baby, the one thing no one old me was who pushed me... He made it out like he was mad, like he was gunna kill tha bitch who pushed me... i believed it, i really did...
Skip ahead to 16, dont worry this was a short year, only one day long... January 26th was the only day of that year... My mom died, she was my everything, she was my strength i need to get away from Pito, the hope i needed to stay clean... I was locked up (IN VT!) when it happened, yea it was only juvie, but in VT juvie is harder then prison, anywayz, the call came in at 7am, the staff came in an woke my ass up, me being me, was pissed off an cussed 'em out, they made me walk through the long corridors to the office where i was to wait for a restraint, then they told me... They allowed me to talk to my father for about 5 minutes, slapped me in restraints an halled me off to confinment, i still dont really get why, but i didnt cry, not then, i was fighting hard, so hard my wrists started to bleed. They drugged me up with a sedative an i slept... THAT WAS THE WHOLE YEAR!!... i was in a complete daze for that year... Then i was released..
19.... yall gunna love this year!............ After a whole 2 years of being CLEAN (with the excpetion of alcohol) I once again got caught up in my fucked up head, got back into my old ways an went to Stapleton... who was still in that ghetto ass hell? PITO! yup, the one who pushed me down the stairs, the one who i loved since i was 13... my one an only... now a dealer, it was a sign, it was fate, it was what i needed. >>>>> ok, this is where ya gotta stick with it... So i got back into the dust (GOD i LOVED PCP!!) an started dealin fake ass coke an real ass dust all over Benningotn County (That in VERMONT yall) them dumbasses didnt know what was what an was willin to pay any price to get a fix...aight skippin ahead to my last day of freedom... I was walkin up School St in Bennington VT (yup) thats where i did a lot of my sales, right close to all three elementary schools, (SHUT UP!) i was mindin my own, goin to my boi G's house an all the sudden this crack headed ho Lissa jumped me, Jus started choakin me, beatin at the back of my head, (now, this bitch an I have gone may rounds befor, me always commin out on top... she owed me over 3000$ an wanted my man hard... he fucked her in the past, gave her a lil taste, then threw her ass out on tha stoop... she hated tha fact I had him an she didnt...).. next thing i knew, this bitch had me on the ground w/ a blade to my neck, i knew she was too chicken to cut me, but it made me so mad, an me being me (dusted outta my skull), i got the knife from her (while also cuttin my own self) she was still puttin up a fight, even with me on her, knee in her chest... she bit me, she slapped me, she pulled my hair (Yo! her MOM cracked me in the head w/ a PHONE!! THATS ALL I GOT! ((well also she broke my thumb by bitting it))) where was i? O yea!, so i was holdin her down, then she started to spit in my face... not a very nice thing to do, so i went to punch her when i realized, "yo, i gotta blade in my and" and at that EXSACT second, she was tryin to get it back, while in our lil struggle, i cut her... more like mutated her, made her grin from all sides; from behind her neck, to right befor her juggular, from her eye brow to her lip a nice semicircle, from her hairline to behind her ear takin a nice chunk of it with me... when i stood up an saw what was what, i realized what i had done... scared outta my mind, i went home, cops speedin right by me, I found Pito, runnin towards me... We hid at my girls house, when finally, 41/2 hours later, my head still bleedin, me about to fall down, about 13 of them motha fuckin racist police officers came poundin at the door, tellin me to get on the floor, that i was under arrest for attempted murder. I went to jail for 2 years... got 6 years House Arrest... will i ever change? Never know.. Benn clean for over 2 years now, happy as hell and in my second year of college... (o yea, maybe i should mentioned that i got my HS diploma at 16)... not many ppl have been told this story, and trust its not the whole stiry, BY FAR... theres a lot more, but im lazy  ....
Thats all my ADHD/ADD will let me write at this moment... keep a look out for more tho cause ya know... i get bored an shyt...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>I'm not a BAD person, jus a lil influenced by drugs, love and hatred<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< |
... But, shes not the commited type, Me on the other hand, have only cheated a handful of times, always on Lex, always with stehie. She hates him, he cant stand her (what kinda man dosnt anna have a 3 sum with 2 extramly beautiful women?) anyways... im jus so fuckin lost in it all. 